I didn’t know I was leaving,
Didn’t say ‘goodbye’ to the people
Who meant so much
To the person I still call ‘me’.
Didn’t look at the buildings,
In the streets
In which I’d played
On spring and summer evenings
And holidays from school.
Didn’t capture the details
That changed subtly over the years.
Didn’t say ‘goodbye’ to the neighbours
In the house next door,
Who we’d drop in to see
Or borrow food from.
Didn’t get to know my Cousins’ children
As well as I’d known them,
Or, their childrens’ children at all.
It was only when I looked again
That I knew I no longer belonged.
What had been, no longer existed
– People, events and places
That were now just memories,
But still defined me.
I didn’t know I was leaving,
Didn’t know that I’d left.
I can recognise the steps
That distanced and finally removed me,
And I still feel the presence
Of those people who created
The person behind the person
That people perceive me to be
– Still talk to them,
Though they can no longer talk back.
I didn’t know I was leaving until I’d gone,
But the part of me that remains is still there,
And in that part of me,
The places, the people and values live on.
